A Letter From A Worried Lover

Hello Friends.

I have a serious challenge that have been bothering me for weeks now and I beg we treat my story respect for me and my fiancé, irrespective of your viewpoints. I'd want to cut the long stories short.

We have been chatting but actually met in October 2013, through a female friend who introduced me to my fiancée. I liked her personality so quickly that I told her my intention to have her as the mother of my kids, assuming things turn out as expected. We were doing fine as we strived to meet constantly in order to know ourselves better, as I was committed to settling down so soon. We talked about our past, our present and future dreams. She is still a final year student in uni-port, should have graduated if not for the Academy Staff Union Of  University strike. But she's resumed and getting ready for her exams. Please I'd like to use this medium to confirm if uni-port final year students are running a tri-mester due to the Academy Staff Union of University strike.

Things were all rosy that in the first week of December, I engaged her for our wedding which was supposed to come up in April 2014. I met her parents and did the traditional first time knocking. They are well pleased with my personality that they are looking forward to my second visit.

However, 2nd week of January 2014 marked the redefining moment in our relationship. We were returning from one of our treatments for infections when we stopped by a boutique to get new undies for her, as it's believed that they can carry infections too. I gave her cash while I sat in the car. Don't really know what made me go through her babe's chats and to my surprise, saw a chat about her having sex with a guy the previous day. I couldn't believe it. I almost melted. I kept calm until she came back with a bag filled with undies.

I couldn't wait but confront her in the car immediately. I asked her to explain what the chats mean. She tried hard to deny but I was insisting on hearing the truth only. She started whittling the story until she finally said she did it. I was so disappointed with her and ashamed with myself. This was heartbreaking to me.

I drove her to my place as she cried all the way home. My mind was just racing with all manner of thoughts.

I later called her and asked her to tell me everything about this guy. She confessed that he was her uni-port boyfriend and the guy she left before I came into her life. I asked her why she never told me about the guy as one of the relationship she's had in her past, since she said she's told me all about her past relationship. She said she felt she can handle it. That she's already told the guy off and they even spent time talking about me and the need for him to let her focus on her relationship, upon which the guy agreed to respect her. I asked her how long have they been meeting and she said it was just that once. That she never intended to do it. The guy has been wanting to see her and his friends have been asking her to try and see the guy that it's urgent and important. So while on her way to school that fateful Thursday morning, she decided to see the guy guy and the unfortunate deed happed.

I felt really bad and prayed to God about the third time that evening. I started calming her down and had to rush off to the office to tidy up my desk that night. I however left with her phones as I needed to confirm her confessions. I took permission from her and started chatting up the boyfriend on her ex-boyfreind and fortunately the guy was responding without knowing I was the one chatting. It was a covert assignment for me and I tried the best I can. However I was able to establish that it was the guy who's been troubling her until he had what he wanted. I came back home and realized that she had attempted suicide inside my locked room by drinking a chemical in my toilet.

After I revived her, I continued chatting with the guy but he realised that the pattern of chat isn't what he usually sees. He immediately called and I gave her the phone to talk and the guy said he needs to see her tomorrow. I asked her why all these things, after all the sacrifices I've been making and contributing to her life. She swore it's a mistake and it's never gonna happen again. She said she's willing to do anything to make sure this kind of thing never happens again. That she's gonna die if I leave her. I was getting more confused. Why would you do this if you really love me this much.

The next morning I asked her to call the boyfriend and tell him I've been the one chatting with him and I need to see him. She did and we drove to her school to see him. He kept posting me due to the fear of the expected and refused to come into school but was asking me to meet him at a spot I'm not familiar with. Until I told him that I don't intend to harm him for now but wouldn't hesitate to if he fools me around, then I went to see him at his comfort zone.

He saw me before I parked while he came out with one guy and I saw some other guys who he's planted. I paid for our drinks to ease our temperament while my fiancee and his his girlfriend was in my car. I talked about his studies and other abstract things first before bringing up the issue. When I did, he denied it happened, which he also advised my fiancee to do when they spoke in the morning, not knowing the phone was on speak out. I however told him that she's confessed and no need for his denial and advised him I came for peace and if he feels he's smart, I'd tell him I left uni-port in 2001 due to cultist. That I won't want him to hit my refresh botton as I have decided to leave me past, he's still in secondary school when I left here and even graduated from tertiary institution.

It was at that time he spoke up and said he never believed her engagement and he was so in love with her until I came and took her away. I asked her if if he knows our wedding date, he said no. I told him that it's supposed to be 12 April but see how he has ruined the prospect of his so called love. He and his friend started begging that they they never knew this was going to turn out like this. That my coming around also shows that I'm still interested in the girl. That That they will respect her and me from then henceforth. That they were expecting me to come blow the whole place up. But were surprised at how I'm talking with them. I finally called my fiance from the car but the guy said it's unimportant. When she came, I told them I was going to give her the ring to bring to him, since he had the guts to sleep with my fiancée with my ring on her finger. However, that I believe karma will always get around him someday.

As soon as I left, my fiancée followed me. We drove off.

I seized her phone since then to keep track of what has has been going on behind my back but nothing significant. The boyfriend only text an apology ping to her.

I have changed her line and retrieved her number as one of the moves to save us from this bullshit and I promised her that changing those stuffs doesn't guarantee that such won't repeat itself. The only thing that can guarantee that is her personal vow. I also told her that our courtship will be extended as the wedding will be postponed until later when I'm convinced that she's the sort of lady I'd like to make the mother of my kids.

After these incidents, I called her up one night and told her that I needed a favour. I told her that I've forgiven her but I know there's so much more that she's got bottled inside her. That if I can forgive her this painful infidelity, I'll be willing to forgive even much more. That I'd like her to tell me everything. She looked at me like she's never done before, staring into my eyes for minutes. I was confused. She then asked: who are you? I kept quiet. She repeated the question again. I mentioned my name. She said I must be sent from God to come rescue her. She told me how she's been through heartbreaks, how she's formed an emotional wall for herself, how I'm breaking those walls etc. Then I asked her about her D&C and she said she's done 3. I took it with a smile but the bell rang. I reassured her that I still love her and her confession will make me love her more. I told her that I wasn't in her past but I'll be willing to help her build a future only if she's willing. She said that she's bared it all as an evidence that she wants to be the mother of our kids.

I went to see my family doctor days later to tell him what I've been going through. He was shocked. I almost wept in his presence. He encouraged me and said that the d&c isn't really an issue for him but the infidelity. He said there's barely a lady these days who's had multiple sex partner who hasn't done multiple d&c. But as regards the infidelity, that she's killed my trust on her. That if I'm not careful I'll be doing a dna testing on my kids tomorrow. I should prayerfully consider my decision to go on with the marriage.

It's really been tough for friends. I'm sometimes lost. I often have mood swings. She knows I don't trust her anymore. She often reassures me that she's left her past fully now and she's committed to winning my trust back.

I'm feeling tormented. As much as I want her still, the bitter memory still lingers. The flashbacks hurts like a knife. I'm fighting this feeling to continue or to let go.

Please I need humble and sincere advice based on experiences and best intentions

Thanks.

POV: Girls, when you've found true love and happiness, desist from anything/person that might cause problems for you in your relationship/marriage. And flee from all forms of temptation. Some are just out to spoil your joy, steal your happiness or ruin your life. Make sure you behaves self. You can't eat your cake and also have it. lie! There's nothing you do, that the person you did it to, wont find out later. Because there's nothing hidden under the sun.